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Voices ranging from different (few but very vocal) sections of society have established a new institution called "Independent Woman". When this institution is analyzed in context of 'everyday stories of women being subjugated/oppressed coming', it certainly justifies its formation. But honestly, even after writing this article, it is beyond my realm to understand. On one side, it looks need of the hour but its flip side also exists which feminists tries to suppress pro-actively.
So who is an independent woman?? I asked one of my friend about this. She told me that who is not dependent on anybody for her survival specially for her financial needs is the one. I asked her to elaborate it further. She thought for a while, googled something and said that an “Independent Woman” is “a woman who pays her own bills, buys her own things, and does not allow a man to affect her stability or self-confidence. She supports herself entirely on her own and is proud to be able to do so." I didn't understand anything at first instance and asked her to repeat it once. When she repeated it, i couldn't resist myself focusing on parts of the sentence "does not allow a man" and "is proud to be able to do so". I asked some more questions and got more info. The information given by her seemed so theoretical and i was left with my quest of knowing the practical aspects of it. Thereafter, I genuinely have made some observations, also asked my male friends about this and have reached on following conclusions:
So who is an independent woman?? I asked one of my friend about this. She told me that who is not dependent on anybody for her survival specially for her financial needs is the one. I asked her to elaborate it further. She thought for a while, googled something and said that an “Independent Woman” is “a woman who pays her own bills, buys her own things, and does not allow a man to affect her stability or self-confidence. She supports herself entirely on her own and is proud to be able to do so." I didn't understand anything at first instance and asked her to repeat it once. When she repeated it, i couldn't resist myself focusing on parts of the sentence "does not allow a man" and "is proud to be able to do so". I asked some more questions and got more info. The information given by her seemed so theoretical and i was left with my quest of knowing the practical aspects of it. Thereafter, I genuinely have made some observations, also asked my male friends about this and have reached on following conclusions:
- Woman who doesn't take any restriction no matter how much it is required for her own survival is independent.
- Woman who shares everything with her family but refuses to share the same with her husband and in-laws is independent. If asked to do, then will accuse of interference in her personal space and being male chauvinist.
- Woman who makes a house but not ready to make adjustments and compromises to sustain the same is independent. Woman who don't give a damn to any request/direction/appeal and if stopped then will do the same thing which she is not suppose to do, doesn't matter if whole system is getting diluted by her actions.
- Woman who believes in shouting in high decibel sound than her male counterparts is independent.
- Woman who uses her freedom to challenge ego and authority of her in-laws and husband is independent.
- Woman for whom likes/dislikes of others are not important and her wishes are above everything is independent.
- Woman who most of the time tries to look male's point of view through legal frame of reference is independent. Who shouts and give insights into statute books (read CrPC and IPC here) frequently to her in-laws and husband on non-compliance of her wishes. Woman who expects her husband and in-laws to behave in a certain manner but doesn't expect the same from her Father/Brothers/Uncles and choose to remain mum on their similar activities.
Western culture is a huge hit among the Indian public. There is general inclination among Indians to embrace traits of their culture and their philosophies like "Feminism" with open hands. Their is no denying the fact that women needs to be brought out of the traditional fastenings but concept of "Women Independence" has wrongly been interpreted in India. Wrongly because like their ways/conduct/manners/fashion/vogue, Indians wants to adapt and propagate Feminism in European style which is spiced up by numerous articles in newspapers, TV debates, star cast of TV serials etc. Human being resists the change but change can be brought only with suitable pace and not by replacement in one lump-sum. Local factors always needs to be retrofitted to make anything suitable to native taste. For most of the women, “Being liberal” and “Being independent” has become an obsession to prove themselves a man above all men. Feminists often forgets that survival of any institution itself depends on many factors. "Being Legal always" can't serve the purpose but when accompanied by rationality/logicality (and elements of morality too) is the key in determining stability and credibility. Truth is also that, in this article, i have focused only on those aspects which very often are concealed by the women right activist. I am in favor of women empowerment but rights of women needs to be promoted with a pace that takes surrounding factors into account and not in undue haste. Promotion of one institution should not affect/break other institution like marriage which sadly is happening and at a much faster rate.
